Thanks to the Web, I Care Deeply About Toilet Paper

Years ago I worked on the advertising for a drain opener. It sounds like the first line of a joke, but it’s true. And the strongest memory I have of the experience, other than secretly wondering how on earth we could be talking about a drain opener storyboard for six months, was when the brand manager made a really interesting point: “There are some things people aren’t destined to care about. They care about a drain when they have a clog. Not before.”

This was a really important insight because at the time the category was obsessed with getting people to buy into the idea of clog prevention. In other words, that by pouring a magic elixir down your drain once a week instead of waiting until you have a clog (say, every three months,) you’d live a happier and more carefree life. Not to mention buying 12 times as much product!

We called it a win-win for ourselves and the consumer. Not my proudest moment. Naturally, it didn’t work. Because, as the brand manager so succinctly pointed out, there are just some things people aren’t destined to care about. And one of them is an open drain.

With the advent of digital, I’m no longer sure there are things that it is impossible to make people care about.

People are a diverse bunch, and now that 70% or so of Americans are online, we all get a chance to see what goes inside the heads of the fellow nutters we cohabitate the planet with.

For example. 10 years ago, I would have agreed with the idea that developing an online presence for a toilet paper brand is pointless. I have a friend who once worked in marketing for a major toilet paper company. He sent me an email about their first digital efforts that went something like this:

Well, we just spent $500K to build a website and learn that people don’t want to read about toilet paper, learn interesting toilet paper facts, IM about toilet paper, receive emails abut toilet paper, or attend celebrity chats about toilet paper. Lessons for the ages.

And so, I have lived a blissful eight or so years accepting the idea that toilet paper and online marketing don’t mix except in a basic three-pages-of-product-info way.

But then I happened upon a website. Toilet Paper Origami (http://www.origami-resource-center.com/toilet-paper-origami.html) offers a host of how to illustrations and photos of “diamond fold”, “pleated fold”, “pleated tuck”, and “flourish” toilet paper ends. The page also alerts the reader to the availability of a 52 page photo book chronicling the amazing toilet paper end designs witnessed by the photographer, Stephen Gill, over what have been three magical years of research. Buy the book now for £25 here http://www.stephengill.co.uk/nobody/books.html#ao.

But wait. It gets odder. The origami resource center also tells we lucky readers that in Japan, there is now a device available called the Meruboa (photo here) that AUTOMATICALLY gives the roll a fold ( I believe that professionals in the field would call this the triangle fold) every time you tear some squares. The device costs about $99.

A blogger named Techiediva (http://www.techiediva.com/) tells us that Meruboa was originally developed because “some people were sickened with the idea of using toilet paper that somebody else had folded.” Again, according to Techie, the company has made more than ¥1,000,000,000 ($9.8Million) on the clearly revolting idea of pretouched TP.

I called a friend who works for a major hotelier who told me they provide fancy toilet paper folds in their guest rooms once per day to demonstrate the special touches that make staying with them lovely. And to prove that the maid had been through. What must those Housekeeping people be thinking as they make the seventh fold of a flourish end?

Anyway. As is easy on the web, I found that each link to TP content led to another even more fascinating link. Pictures of wedding dresses made of toilet paper. Pictures of kids using toilet paper to make Rambo style headbands.

So WHAT ON EARTH DOES ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH DIGITAL MARKETING? Well, I bring it up to demonstrate that there is someone (indeed, many someones in this case) who is passionate about everything. And their passions get reflected in uniquely personal ways online. In captivating content.

Now, millions of people might not be willing to visit beauty shots of your product every day. But I think this toilet tissue example demonstrates that it is possible to make content for any brand that can grab eyeballs and endear products to people. Marketing online requires providing entertainment value, and your fans are probably out there providing it every day.

The question is, will we have the open minded nature and inventiveness necessary to leverage it for our brands? Open minds mean full coffers.

Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to write.