My Ten Year Love Affair With Yahoo!

Exactly ten years ago, Yahoo and I began an exclusive relationship. In my younger days I was searchually promiscuous – I played the field, getting Excite-d for a while, whoring all around the Netscape. Just Ask-ing for trouble.

And, of course, there was that other girl, the one who always appeared whenever I went online. Truth be told, I found her a little too available for my taste, ya know? Anyway, I never knew her name, but she always wears a monogram, MSN. Don’t get me wrong. She has a lot going for her, and I’m sure she’s lots of people’s idea of ideal. Just not mine.

I kept coming back to Y!, drawn like a moth to a purple flame. And over time she taught me life’s most important lesson: playing the field can be titillating for a time, but the search really is better with someone you know.

I am very proud to say that my girl Y! is the BBW I adore having in my life – the Big Beautiful Website that is with me through thick and thin, day in and day out. Yeah, she’s gotten bigger over the years, but it just means there’s more to love.
I’ve never gotten into the whole My Y! thing – trying to change her into what I wanted instead of just letting her be. I’ve always accepted Y! as she is. I still greet her sunny homepage every day.

Y! and I have been through a whole lot. She’s changed her style a few times, and went out and splurged on a couple of facelifts, even though I’ve always loved her looks. But I’ll say this for her, she’s always working hard to keep our relationship fresh.

Y! has expanded my horizons in so many ways. She introduced me to online romance. Though that ended when she started charging for love connections – she learned fast that I won’t pay for dates.

But in other areas she’s been all I could hope for and more. For instance, she always seems to be able to uncover a bargain on whatever I need to buy. Plus, she keeps track of money better than anyone. And helps me make sense of my mobile phone –she’s always there to answer my questions. Heck, she’s even taken my dog places – she has such a caring heart.

Hey, Y! isn’t perfect. Sometimes that jealous obsession with her younger, richer sister Google can get tiresome. I wish she’d just recognize that Miss G isn’t more attractive than she is – she’s just beautiful in a different way. Sort of a rhinestoned Angelina Jolie to Y!’s t-shirt and jeans Jen Aniston.

Y!, just relax. You don’t need your li’l sis’s multibillion dollar bustier to catch my eye.

Y! can hold her own in any conversation. Some days she’s bursting to tell you about some important political issue in the minutest detail. At other times, OMG, she’s just bubbling over with celebrity trash.

Everybody always says, if you want the Buzz, turn to Y!

Y!’s no doormat, that’s for sure. Sometimes she really enforces her honey do list. Like transforming her appearance without warning. Or trying to force me to send mail in some new way when I am more than satisfied with the Classic. But when I go with the flow and am content to just let her be her, things usually turn out better.

I don’t know what I’d do without her. Like any aging husband, there are many times when I can’t find things on my own. But all I have to do is ask and she has the answer right away. And she never rolls her eyes about even the dumbest questions.

A couple years ago, I was disappointed for a time. See, she went on a Panama retreat, promised she’d be back fast, but then took forever to return. But since she did, it’s like she’s clairvoyant – she knows me so well that she can finish my sentences and give me answers that much faster.

She’s gotten more animated in the past couple of years, and definitely more motional. It’s nice that she open to trying new things. And it’s interesting…she was always a private person, didn’t want to “let others in.” But lately she’s become a wonderfully open book – she calls it her Y!OS and everybody seems to like her more for it.

My girl Y! is full of secrets and surprises -- like how you click her homepage logo in just the r!ght place and she lets out that happy yell! She can also be a delightful tease – showing a little leg of her news stories, and making you click for more. She knows how to draw you in, that’s for sure.

There are so many other things I love about her. There isn’t enough time to list ‘em all. So let me just close by saying,

Honey, Jerry Yang may THINK he’s Chief Yahoo, but no one loves you more than me!

Happy Anniversary, Y!